Facebook Frustrations

I admit, I was a little late to the online party called Facebook. I joined up a little over a year ago and pretty much let it sit dormant for months. Even when I logged on, it was usually just to cyber stalk some broad I met. Lately, though, the Facebook business has been booming. I’m now very unproud to announce that I’m Facebook friends with pretty much everyone I know in real life. I can’t have that.

If you haven’t noticed by some of my previous blog posts I can be a bit vulgar, insane and just all-around “asshole-ish”. So where does that leave me when all of a sudden I have co-workers and grandmas sending me friend requests? Fucked, that’s where. Sure I have other family members on Facebook too, but I don’t mind most of them because they actually understand what I’m talking about and laugh, or at the very least, tolerate me. Most of them even know about this site and enjoy it, which is great.

I guess I’m just sick of seeing the parade of ridiculousness right when I log on, which usually consists of Jesus quotes and generic nonsense. Since I’m sort of bewildered that people still choose to believe in Christianity, it sort of bothers me when I see quizzes like “What Bible Character Are You?” or random bible verses in status updates. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t completely lost respect for people who take part in this Facebook Jesus pimping like they’re trying to show off.

Speaking of losing respect for people, I can’t help but cringe and automatically unfriend people whose profiles are completely in “text speak”. Text speak, to me, shouldn’t even be tolerated in the text message medium, particularly since that seems to be the main way of communicating these days. I also want to mention that this text speak is typically used by the aforementioned Christians. It’s this phenomenon that actually turned me off to Christianity first, simply because I can’t imagine a scenario where Jesus returns and is greeted by millions of idiots Twittering “OMG Jeezus”.

Along the same lines of idiocy I would say only one thing could top what I’ve already mentioned. The amounts of generic quotes and conversations I see on Facebook at any given moment are enough to make me want to click the “Close Account” button on my own life. Actually the generic quotes of “teach a man to fish” are simply not as horrendous as the follow up comments that are only affirming the original posters notion that it’s the deepest quote ever written. But who am I to complain? Maybe I should just “keep my eye on the prize” and “treat people how I want to be treated”.

Perhaps I’m the one who needs to change my views to be more positive and accepting of other people’s actions. Maybe I’m just way out of line. After all, I’m probably in the minority on this one and the majority is always correct, right? Wait, I just checked my Facebook account and was sent a cross, rose and mojito in the time it took me to write this article. I stand behind my original proclamation, which was basically “fuck these people”.

Technorati Tags: facebook sucks, general idiocy, generic quotes

News Thing – Swearing Pain Away

A new study has just been completed that will probably change the world as we know it. Never before has there been such a worthwhile experiment to open our minds and tell each and every one of us something we don’t already know and haven’t even thought of.

Here’s the story from LiveScience:

That muttered curse word that reflexively comes out when you stub your toe could actually make it easier to bear the throbbing pain, a new study suggests.

The researchers enlisted 64 undergraduate volunteers and had them submerge their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as possible while repeating a swear word of their choice. The experiment was then repeated with the volunteer repeating a more common word that they would use to describe a table.

Contrary to what the researcher expected, the volunteers kept their hands submerged longer while repeating the swear word.

You’re kidding me, right? You mean swearing increases pain tolerance? Never have I heard such a thing! Every time I injure myself by, let’s say, walking face first into a door at night, I always scream out something like “sweater vest!” Man, maybe I should spend more money on swear word dictionaries rather than night lights and Advil.

I’m just in a state of disbelief right now. I mean, there’s no possible way that swearing increases pain tolerance. If it did, what would be next? Swearing yourself alive from being dead? Who needs pain medication for serious ailments when we can just create a self induced case of Tourette’s? What does this mean for our beloved pharmaceutical companies now? Probably a bail out, I would imagine.

Alright, enough of this charade. I have some pain that I need to tame, myself. The type of pain that can only be brought on by a stupid fucking article that tells nobody anything new at all. Is this all it takes to become a “scientific author” these days? Because I’m looking for paid writing gigs constantly and I have a scientific article about how sitting on a couch is more comfortable than sitting on a porcupine that would blow your mind.

Technorati Tags: swearing