Advice Time – Dating Slavery
A couple weeks ago I gave some very strong advice to a girl who got her collarbone broken by a boy she liked (read up on that here). Well, she’s back.
So your advice was funny but he had a girlfriend. :( Now there is this guy (whore i know, already on to a new guy) who is on a “break” 9she refuses to let him dump her) with his girlfriend and i dont know what to do. since you OBVIOUSLY have such great social skills and have all of the girls are throwing themselves at you id like to ask if you have any advice for me.
First of all, I’m completely offended that you found my advice funny. This is a serious website where I help people with real issues. It’s not just some joke. Perhaps you didn’t understand my advice completely because you’re not smart enough to compute my level of genius.
Since you failed to give me all the information in your last question and I’m afraid you’re doing the same with this one I’m going to make some assumptions about your current whorey situation. I’m going to assume that since you know this new guy’s dating situation you’ve talked to him about it and probably expressed some sort of feelings towards him. If that’s wrong, I don’t really care.
The bottom line here is that he doesn’t have any interest in you whatsoever. How do I know this? Because slavery was abolished a long time ago. This guy’s current girlfriend isn’t allowed to keep him in the “break” stage of a relationship against his will while she’s out getting railed by every man who doesn’t throw up at the sight of her dumb, ugly head (I told you I would assume things). He’s allowed to say “we’re done” and move on and he would say that if he was interested in you at all.
So him telling you that he isn’t allowed to break up with his current girlfriend is just a way to tell you that he either legitimately wants to keep trying to work things out with her, or he’s stretching out the non-relationship out until someone better comes along. That way he doesn’t have to deal with a girl who has the body type/teeth of a female Slimer, like you (I’m assuming when you broke your collarbone you basically crumpled into an upright human puddle).
The only real advice that I can give you is to move on… Again. You clearly don’t have any qualms with falling in love at the drop of a hat, so just go to a public place, open your eyes really wide and look around. You’ll probably fall in love with every single man there. Just remember, sometimes it takes the uglies a little bit longer to find a loving partner who can handle their particular level of gross.
Hmm, I wonder why I don’t get more requests for advice… Anyways, don’t be afraid to send in your advice questions here. Sure, I was slightly mean to this broad, but that’s just because she thought she could pull one over on the sarcasm king with her last sentence. She was wrong. My crown remains intact and continues to be a complete girl magnet.
Category: Advice Column
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