Anyways, there’s a poll on the sidebar for whether you like the design or not, so vote your little heart out. Plus, I’ll still be making some tweaks to the site, so if you have any features in mind that you’d like to see here either comment on this post or fill out the contact form. Don’t be afraid, like most people are, to contact me. I double pinky swear that I won’t make fun of you.

New Logo! This site needs a new logo very badly. The one that’s up there now got created in a moment of haste. It just looks lazy. So if you’re good with graphics, create something for me! I’ll pick the best one to use and promote whatever you want on this very blog! The image should be 425 x 100 and suit this new site design well. Extra points for a grunge-type look, but that’s not completely necessary.

That’s about it. As always, help promote the website, post it on your Facebook wall, Twitter about it, do whatever you have to do to get the word out. For instance, if you have a Facebook fan page with thousands of fans, throw my link up there. The more people I get on this site the more I’ll post. Also, thanks to all the people who have been promoting this site like crazy. You make my heart erect with love.

Need advice? Submit a question or situation you need advice on and I’ll make a blog post about it. It’s completely confidential!

Technorati Tags: ask for advice, promote me, Site News

This whole Kindle desire got deeper just a few weeks ago as the only legitimate book store within 90 miles of my home town closed down. Apparently, most people in Mediocre-ville Iowa don’t like reading and why would they? They’ve got stupidity to perfect. These are the same types of people who on their MySpace page (yes, they’re still on that ghost town of a website) under the “Books” section write something like “lol wuts readin?” Good point.

Don’t get me wrong, I can sort of see where they’re coming from. Reading is fucking hard to do sometimes. I often go through entire chapters of a book before I realize that I wasn’t actually reading any of it. I was basically just skimming it with my eyes while my mind was off somewhere else thinking about how if people tried breaking into my apartment I would take them out and get thrown into the middle of this insane conspiracy, Jason Bourne style.

Reading can also be daunting when I buy a new book about a topic that interests me, like Neil Tyson DeGrasse’s Death By Black Hole, but by the middle of the first page I realize how fucking dumb I actually am. Reading turns into a chore when you have to do in-depth research about every fifth word.

Anyways, the point to all of this is that you should all buy Kindles, even if you don’t like reading anything outside of ridiculous blogs. Why would you do something like this? Well, because this blog is now up on the Amazon Kindle store! I say that like my blog got picked up by some huge company and I’m getting paid millions, when in reality all I had to do was sign up for an account.

So what I want all of you to do is go on there, subscribe and write positive reviews. It only costs $1.99 per month to subscribe too. Just so you know, I didn’t get to pick the price. If I was allowed to pick the price I would be charging several hundreds of dollars per month because that’s what I feel this blog is worth. I don’t know if you can write a review without purchasing it first, but if you can and you don’t even own a Kindle, still write the review. It doesn’t have to be long and impressive, just give it five stars and type something like “I laughed so hard my eyes popped out.”

Absurdly Awesome on the Amazon Kindle Store

Technorati Tags: Kindle, reading

The four topics which I’m considering starting an independent site with are as follows:

Advice/Self-Help: I will field advice questions like my old “Ask Josh” segment, along with articles about how to improve your life.

Odd News Commentary: Pretty self explanatory. I’ll scour the interwebs for idiotic news items and then make fun of the people in them.

Celeb Bashing: Making fun of dumb ass celebrities is always a good time.

TV Show Reviews: Just started this segment on my blog recently. If I went with this one I’d probably have to find some like-minded individuals to help me post episode recaps for good and horrendous shows. I can’t watch TV Shows 12 hours a fucking day.

Click on the links above to see examples of those particular posts and cast your VOTE below. Also, if you have any other ideas for site spin-offs use the comments or my contact form and let me know.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I suppose the main thing I’m thankful for is that I don’t have a girlfriend this time of year. Holiday season girlfriends are the fucking pits, man. Not only do you have to go to your own family get-togethers where you only know about 5% of the people, but now you have to go to some strangers house where you’ll know even fewer. You just end up sitting there getting asked a million questions by these goddamn uncles about how big of a disappointment your life is. Plus it’s always an awkward position to be in when the entire family mentions that they “say grace” before their meal, which usually leads me to laugh out loud, then I realize that they were serious and nervous vomit all over the fruit salad.

Plus the whole family get together even by myself never really works out for me. It leads to a lot of awkward questions in my own head, like “am I picturing banging a hot cousin of mine, or a male cousins girlfriend right now?” It’s not really a positive situation for anybody to be in.

Like I mentioned earlier, this isn’t a normal blog post so I’m going to throw in some non-entertaining stuff now.

I have a few “Ask Josh” questions on the back-burner right now that will probably get answered next week. If I get more sent in over the next few days I’ll probably do all of them next week. There could be a lot of content here if people start sending stuff in.

I’m thinking about doing some humorous reviews on this site soon, so if you have anything from a product your selling to a favorite TV show or movie that you want to see me talk about use my contact form to get in touch with me.

As always, please help spread the word about this little site I’m doing here. Don’t just think someone else will tell people because let’s face it, they’re not. Twitter it, Facebook it, buy me billboards and full page advertisements in magazines, whatever you gotta do. The more people I have around here the more I’ll want to write stuff up and the more you’ll be able to laugh about what a big idiot I am.

Technorati Tags: plugs, thanksgiving

That being said, there will be no new blog post next week either, because I will once again be visiting Las Vegas town. Don’t worry though, because if I can keep a blog running on convenience store trips and seeing random girls on the street, just think of all the stuff I’ll have to talk about when I get back from Las Vegas.

If you’re still disappointed, then go ahead and read last year’s trip recap. I combined it all in one post, but hopefully I’ll see enough crazies this time to write multiple posts.

As always, submit Ask Josh questions, dreams for Dream Interpretations, and contact me about things you want me to talk about, like news stories and what not.

Also, since I’m going to Las Vegas town, I’ll probably come back completely broke, so if you’d like to support my degenerate gambling habit and keep me in fresh quesadillas for a while, feel free to donate.

Technorati Tags: gambling, Las Vegas, vacation

Well, I got most of my business finished and a fat man in an old, shitty van came to fix my laptop, so we should be all in the clear for regular blog postage. To tide you over until I get back to posting next week, check out a guest article I did for the website How Rude Are You.

Read all about it right here.

Check back next week for all the regular craziness.

Technorati Tags: guest article

I was recently the “Interesting Person of the Week” over on Bunny Glitter.

I also wrote one of the most interesting articles of 2009 with my latest Dream Interpretation over here.

I’d like to take this time to encourage you all to send in more Ask Josh questions and dreams for Dream Interpretations.

Also, if you find a news article or video you want me to make fun of, or just think I should read send me the link on my Contact Form.

I have hosting dues coming up very soon and I’m not exactly cash rich, so if you’d like to help out a little bit that would be amazing. Donate here.

I also want to say thanks to everyone who comes and reads this ridiculous blog constantly, comments, and helps spread the word. It’s greatly appreciated.

Don’t forget to come back Monday (usually later in the day) for another blog post!

How am I going to celebrate my fantastic milestone? I don’t know. I’ll probably end up doing what I do on any other day except I’ll check my Facebook page every 5 minutes to see if I’ve gotten anymore birthday wishes. I’ll also coyly try to slip in the fact that it’s my birthday into every conversation I have today. Yeah, I’m one of those creeps.

Since it’s my birthday I’m not going to put the trouble into making this a full-fledged regularly awesome blog post. In fact, I probably won’t post another regular blog post for the rest of the week. I’ll use this birthday excuse to take a few days off, recharge my batteries and work on some other small writing related projects like guest articles for other blogs and finishing a short script. All of which have a very good chance of never seeing the light of day. So, it’s totally worth it.

I am, however, going to mention some things that you can do to make it my best birthday ever! The first thing you can do is donate some cash money. Sure, it’ll probably end up going towards purchasing temporary love, but at this point it’s really more of a need than a want. So if you’re a fan of the site and want to show some support, or if you hate my site but just love giving gifts then please help the site/me out.

Another thing you can do is help spread the word of this blog by dropping flyers for the site from a helicopter over major metropolitan cities. Or you could just post a link to this blog on your blog, tell people on Twitter or Facebook about it or hire a group of Mexicans to hand out Absurdly Awesome business cards on the Las Vegas strip.

As always, be sure to submit your Ask Josh questions or Dreams you want interpreted in their respective forms. You’ll get some knowledge dropped on you and help create content for the site all at once. Or you could just submit anything you like on my regular, old contact form, like opportunities, wishes and pictures of your boobies.

Alright, that’s enough self promoting for now. I said I wasn’t going to put up another blog post this week, but there is a chance I might. If not, I’ll be back next Monday with my regular amount of awesomeness.

Technorati Tags: birthday, support

We’ve all had ridiculous dreams at some point in our lives. Maybe you’ve had reoccurring monster dreams as a child, or reoccurring dreams where you bang ugly chicks, as an adult. Either way, it’s scientifically proven that crazy dreams are significant to the development of our lives (allegedly). Whether it be foreshadowing an upcoming event, a message from someone in the spirit realm, or just something intriguing that you can tell someone, hopefully blow their mind, and then con them into sleeping with you.

Regardless, you deserve to know the truth about what dreams are trying to tell you. Luckily, I’m pretty damn good with this whole dream interpretation thing and am willing to help you out.

So I urge you to head over to the Dream Interpretation page and fill out the form.

Also, I just added some icons in the sidebar to the right where you can subscribe to my RSS feed, follow me on Twitter, and join the Absurdly Awesome Facebook group type thing.

I should also mention that I recently added an “Archive” page that lists every single one of my blogs. I’ve known some people to read through every one of my posts and this should make it much easier to navigate that amazing feat.

Right now I’m writing about two posts a week, but if you start submitting Dream Interpretations, and Ask Josh questions that number will likely increase. That’s also why you should help promote this site in any way you can. More people visiting and submitting means more content for you to read, and I get fucking famous. That’s an amazing three step plan that cannot fail.

As always, if you have any ideas for new segments, anything that will help the site, multi-million dollar writing offers, or boob pictures, use my Contact form.

Alright, that’s enough self promotion for now. Check back in a day or two when I return to my regular amount of genius.

Technorati Tags: Site News

Instead of doing what some of the most popular blogs do and have neat contests and flashback dealies I’m going to do something different. It’s time for you people to send me cars, cash money, houses, girlfriends, prizes, quesadillas and Faberge eggs. This all has to be slid across a trampoline to me by a team of hot and naughty (female) models. It’s really the only way to receive a gift, if you think about it.

I also wanted to take this time to discuss where this blog is headed and what you can expect out of me in this next blogscal year. So you remember this last year when I wrote funny blogs every once in a while, and then begged people to read them, for no real reason? Yeah, it’s probably going to be exactly the same as that. To be honest I never really knew what to expect from creating a blog, and still don’t. I’m totally wingin it over here and I haven’t really accomplished a whole lot except maybe spreading a few jollies and offending a few douche-cocks.

I don’t know exactly how much I’ll be posting in the near future. I’m actually thinking about writing some stuff that has the possibility of making me some actual money or something, though I don’t really know how that works. I’m also going to try and find a way out of my job and Iowa situations. Not to mention all the time I’m going to be spending with all my new prizes and goodies you send me.

However, I do plan on doing something completely unnecessary at some point. I’m going to attempt to write one original blog a day for an entire week. Or I’m going to put up a new blog every day for a month, even if it’s just a funny video or picture I find on my internet travels. I don’t know when this is going to take place, or why I would do this to myself, or yourself for that matter, but it’s going to be done.

So in recap: keep checking back, send me prizes, tell people about the site, and for the love of fucks sake leave me comments or send me emails on the Contact page about what you’d like to see happening on this site, or if you want me to write something for your project, or if you’re just really, really lonely. I know I seem a little unapproachable and you may be intimidated by my manliness, but I’m really quite an approachable gentleman… Just don’t be a fucking idiot about it or I will bop you in the head with a toaster oven.

Technorati Tags: one year anniversary