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Celeb Bashing – Amy Winehouse Almost Dead

View Comments May 5, 2009 | JoshPerson

Here’s the second celebrity article I wrote a while back, as promised. There will be one more of these posted tomorrow and then a brand new regular blog post that will be up on Thursday. Hopefully you find these somewhat amusing, but if you think they’re bullshit then just hang on, it’s almost over. Let me know what you think of these in the comments or on my contact form.

amy-winehouse

Apparently Amy Winehouse has been near death twice because of her addiction to every drug on the planet, including some that haven’t been invented yet, however that works. This is what her father told People:

“Amy Winehouse came “close to death” twice during her worst moments, says her father.

Detailing his daughter’s lowest points for the upcoming TV documentary Saving Amy, Mitch Winehouse says that while the media have been reveling in her downfall, “They didn’t see her lying in bed for days in a dark room,” he is quoted in Hello! magazine.

“She was close to death twice. We have been working a lot to get her to where she is right now,” said the elder Winehouse, who now claims his daughter is drug-free.

I actually got word that she’s been dead for months now and that Columbian drug lords were using her body to transport drugs like some sort of ultra sexy, drug fueled version of Weekend at Bernie’s. I’ve also heard that if you play connect the dots with the track marks on her arm it actually forms a heroin filled syringe. Which story sounds the most fake? I don’t know. I’d probably have to go with the one that says she’s been close to death only twice.

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Category: Celeb Bashing, General Posts

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  1. It’s a damn shame. Waste of talent. I’d go with the weekend at bernies. I mean, that would explain a lot.

  2. molly says:

    You think we’ll find this “somewhat amusing”??
    YOU’RE full of bullshit.
    Leave her alone.

  3. I have searched my heart For the words to say just how much u mean to me You are all of God

  4. Amy says:

    The only song of hers I know is “Rehab” and if that was her top song then no talent is being wasted because she never had any. I feel bad for her, she’s a total mess. But I did find this amusing, thank you.

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