Christmas Times

If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m pretty indifferent towards the holidays. When I was a kid I loved them and from the time I graduated high school up until this year I despised them. These days, however, I just don’t really care. Sure, it’s nice to see family and if there aren’t to many cousins involved I usually have a good time. What’s holding me back from actually enjoying these holidays? I don’t know, probably my ever increasing desire to make every situation as awkward as possible.

The gift giving situation alone is enough for me to never fully enjoy a holiday like Christmas. I’ve never given or received a gift that didn’t contain some level of awkwardness. Sure, the gifts I get are usually good, but I feel so much pressure to get excited. I always half expect the giver to want me to do a handstand while smiling just to show my appreciation. I’m a man, I don’t get upside-down excited about stuff unless it involves banging some hots or getting a dollar amount that means I’d never have to work again.

Giving gifts is even more stressful to me than receiving gifts. I could have this perfect idea for a gift inside my head for months and the idea remains perfect up until gift giving time. That’s generally when all these doubts come rushing in my braindome. These doubts come from two directions. One doubt is that they already have the item I’m gifting and I’ll be left with one of my least favorite errands of all times, returning an item. The other doubt comes from the fact that they might possibly hate the gift, which I’m sure a lot of people feel.

I realize this makes me sound insane and completely incapable of having fun, but I don’t care. Like I said, I don’t hate Christmas, I could really just go without some aspects of it. I’ll sit around a Christmas table with family all goddamn day, drink myself blind and be completely happy about it as long as gifts aren’t involved.

I know some of you ladies are concerned now with this new revelation. I hear the sound of some crushes on me being broken right now, so let me clear some things up. Don’t get me wrong,  Christmas with a girlfriend is terrible, especially if I have to get together with their stupid family of strangers, but the gift thing with a girlfriend is a little bit easier, so that may offset some of the awfulness. You see, with my parents we don’t get together and talk about things we want, so getting a gift for them is a complete shot in the dark. Girlfriends, on the other hand, you talk about that kind of stupid stuff, plus you’re probably spending more time with them. I could gift the shit out of a girlfriend, so fear not ladies, your crushes can remain intact.

Also, as much as I hate myself for doing this (even though I do it a lot), if you want to spread some of your sickening Christmas cheer with me, feel free. I’ll be honest, I’ve got a shit load of new bills and nonsense coming up and with my web hosting needing to be renewed in a few months I don’t know if I’ll be able to cut it. So, if you like this site and want it to stick around then either make me famous or send me donations. I’d really appreciate it along with all the people who promote me on their own websites and Twitter.

Tags: bleh, Christmas, presents

Category: General Posts