Concert Love/Hate
The other night I went to a concert with a friend of mine and it got me thinking about my concert history. First of all, I have terrible concert memory. I forget shows that I’ve seen and I also forget dates completely. Often times I can’t even recall what year I saw a certain concert and I’ve only really been going to concerts for 3.5 years. I also have roller coaster-y feelings towards concerts. Sure, they can be fun to go see, but then I’d have to leave my apartment and deal with people. I really should make some sort of chart that gives me an “awesomeness of the act” versus “people hatred” ratio to help me decide what shows to attend.
The first two concerts that I ever went to were miserable at best. I went to them with my girlfriend at the time, which should have been fun, but it was absolutely terrible. The problem was that I didn’t spend as much time enjoying the show as I did making sure my woman didn’t get groped by a bunch of dudes. Oh, the insecurity of a boy who hadn’t grown into his full potential of awesomeness. Even though those are the only two concerts I went to with a girl, it’s that same type of weirdness I feel during any show, that hinders my ability to enjoy it fully a lot of the time.
I think a lot of my dislikes about going to concerts are shared by most people, or at least they should be. Standing shoulder to shoulder with a room full of screaming dudes isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. Plus, it gets extremely hot and painful standing like that for three hours at a time. Perhaps, that only really bothers me because I’m a gentleman. I enjoy nice, calm shows with seating and no douches in half empty venues. Is that too much to ask? Most of the time, yes.
Another theme I tend to notice in my concert-goings involves women in bands. Either the girl in the band is extremely hot and I want to get to know her insides, but can only think about all of her band members hollowing her out in the back of their van. Or the girl in the band is terribly unattractive and when she’s off-stage she stares at me weirdly like she wants to bang my C-chord. Alright, so each of those instances have only happened once, but I see them as themes that could be ongoing.
I don’t mean to start the tabloid machine with wonderment over which band’s female vocalist gave Josh the sex stare. I also don’t want to deal with the media’s question bombardment so I’ll just come out with it. It was the lead singer of a band called Morningwood. Sure, in some pictures she actually looks “alright” at times, but when I saw her she looked more like this (except sweatier):
And less like this:
So basically, if I would have only seen boobs and throat I would have been down. Otherwise, I’m climbing a tree and hoping she doesn’t charge. I also want to clear the air and say that I did not set out to see Morningwood exclusively. I had little to no idea who they were at the time and they were opening for a band that is a bit more respectable, but with my aforementioned shitty concert memory I don’t recall who.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t necessarily hate concerts. If I did I would just quit going. Done and done. I will still enjoy going to concerts for a very long time, it’s just that some things about them bother me to the point where I start thinking “I wish this dude would quit bumping into me” or “my fucking back hurts from not sitting for 3 hours” or “how am I going to be the one banging this chick tonight instead of one of her greasy bandmates?” instead of enjoying the show itself. It’s quite the burden for me to have and I didn’t even get into my constant paranoia about people stealing my wallet.
Category: General Posts
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