Dentist Style
Recently, I’ve once again began going to the dentist, after a five year hiatus. I don’t exactly have dental insurance so I just wait until my mom makes me an appointment and says she’ll pay. Usually that works fine, I go in to get a check-up and all is good. This time, however, is a complete mess. My appointment next month will make it three different appointments in three months, which is torture. I’d rather get waterboarded once than go to a dentist three times. Actually going to the dentist is a lot like getting waterboarded, except instead of getting choked out by water you get choked out by your own tooth dust.
Dentists have the weird gift of making you self-conscious completely out of nowhere. I never had braces as a kid because my teeth were never that screwed up. My mom felt guilty about never getting me braces so now she wants me to get Invisalign, which are basically clear brace-like mouth guards. So I went in for the consultation and the dentist immediately started in with the teeth bashings, saying things like “Do you ever feel self-conscious about your teeth, or never smile because you’re embarrassed?” To which I replied “not really, I just never smile because I think it shows weakness”. Then he just stared at me with a look of disapproval.
I had never been self-conscious about my teeth up until that point. It’s not like they’re sticking out all over the place like goddamn novelty truck stop hillbilly teeth. These dentists really do nothing except prey on your insecurities. The whole thing is a complete scam because every time I go into the dentist for a check-up they end up saying “you have cavities all over the fucking place” even though my teeth don’t hurt and aren’t sensitive at all. I’m getting to the point where I just want to say “Really? Pull out those goddamn teeth and show me the cavity then, you bald bitch”. I bet he’d decline that proposal, which proves that my theory is correct.
Another thing that annoys me about dentists is when they always say “you know drinking soda is bad for your teeth, right?” No fucking duh. I’ve known that since I could first understand words. I learned that around the same time I found out that sitting too close to the TV is bad for your eyes, and that every time I touch my peep a baby falls into a well of blood.
From the time I get something scheduled, up until the time I have the actual appointment every day is ruined for me. I could be having the best day ever and then I’ll remember I have a dentist appointment coming up in a month and become extremely miserable. I’ll literally be dreading this every single day for the next month. Yes, I’m an adult.
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Category: General Posts
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For the longest time now I’ve considered dentists a huge scam! I swear cavity or not I was getting a filling. They are allowed to create their own work. You can walk in with a perfect month and they can claim cavities and charge you to fill and fix it.
I never felt conscious visiting them before but maybe it’s because I always expected to have a cavity lol.
It’s a business where business is never slow.
Wow, and I thought that God killing a baby kitten was harsh.
Perhaps I’m lucky and have a good dentist. My one gripe is that they’re always running late, sometimes even canceling an appointment when you’re on your way there.
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