Hot Checker Outer Lady

Every once in a while I come across a lady that I would like to have relations with. It’s very rare, and when it happens it comes completely out of nowhere, giving me only seconds to pull my shit together and be fake nice to her. However, last weekend that couple second time frame was extended to a few minutes, for me to make my move. I’ll let you be the judge, but I think I made the most of it.

As usual, this encounter with a hot lady happened at a time when I thought meeting a hot check would be impossible, when it was the farthest thing from my mind. It happened in a checkout lane at Wal-Mart. Usually you can go up to fifteen years without seeing a hot chick within a one block radius of Wal-Mart, let alone witness one actually working there.

If they made a non-fake version of this porn my cashier would definitely be in it… You know, assuming she has no morals, which is a pretty safe bet for any Wal-Mart employee.

You’d think the deck would be stacked against me, with my dirty, just woken up head and my cart full of TV dinners and fudgesicles, but maybe not. This attractive girl settled for a shit job at Wal-Mart, so why wouldn’t she settle for a disaster of a man who has a heart of gold and is a tiger in the sack? Then I figured, even at my worst, I’m still better than 100% of the slobs who parade in front of her during any given shift.

Right when I was about to make my move and say something clever and witty like “Hi” or “What’s an attractive lady like you doing working here when you could be blowing some rich dude and never working a day in your life?”, but then something happened. Out of left field, some male worker, roughly my age, strolled up and started stocking the soda cooler right next to us.

Now, something you may not know about me is that I get complete stage fright in hot lady situations (and urinal situations, but that’s a different story entirely). I pretty much have to be in a vacuum to work up enough courage to make moves, or at least not have anyone within female screaming distance. I can’t even have a normal, non-pick up conversation with a woman if someone else is close, not even with women friends I’ve known for years.

Even though this situation was headed south quickly I decided to still come up with some sort of joke to see if I can make her laugh. If she laughs, then I’d be in there, literally. If she doesn’t laugh, then she’ll be dead within a week. What did I come up with? This precious gem right here: “What is someone like you doing working here? There’s supposed to be a quadruple chinned lady named “Rita” checking me out who extends a drool string from her 3rd chin to the receipt she’s handing to me”. It’s amazing, I know. It really is the perfect line to woo any attractive Wal-Mart cashier.

The only problem was that I never got the chance to implement it. This soda douche just kept hanging around, not saying a word to anyone, including the hot chick. It really makes me think he was also stage fright, and was just waiting for his shot with her at some point in the 8 hour shift, while simultaneously cock blocking every possible pick up attempter. It’s really the only possible explanation. Well, that and the fact that he might be gay and was just seeing if I would make a move on a lady and if not he’d make his move on me. If the latter were truly the case, then he’d probably be in luck because, even though I’ve never had a homosexual thought in my life, whoever holds the key to all the soda in the land also holds the key to my heart. You can see the conflict.

Tags: hot cashier, wal-mart

Category: General Posts