“Lost” Up To This Point

A little while ago, while completely bored, I was cruising through Hulu trying to find a show to dump millions of my non-valuable hours down. That’s when I saw it. I found the first 4 seasons of the popular television program Lost and on a whim decided, “meh, I’ll give it a chance”. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. After burning through the entire 5 seasons in 2 weeks I’ve come up with some very reasonable conclusions about the show that everybody loves.

Going into this viewing voyage I was almost positive that I would turn it off after 15 minutes because I’d hate it. The only thing I knew about this show was that the older women at work raved about it almost as much as American Idol, which turned me off almost instantly. I didn’t even know what it was about, but I just couldn’t see myself wondering “what may happen next” in a conversation with a bunch of 40-something moms.

Upon actually watching the show I came to some conclusions. The first thing that I found out is that I can actually watch a show with mediocre to sometimes terrible acting. The thing with this show is that the writing is generally amazing enough to make up for the extremely awkwardly acted sentimental moments. The entire time I watched the show I would be saying to myself “goddamn this show is average at best, but I cannot stop watching it”. Though, like I said, I watched 5 seasons in 2 weeks so maybe I was just brainwashed the entire time.

I also realized that I can get into shows with some mystical elements to them. Sure, TV shows aren’t known for being extremely true-to-life, but I could just never get into shows that were too out there. Take the show 24, for example. While that show isn’t very realistic at all, my insane mind could justify watching it as “this could really happen” compared to all the other ridiculous shows out there. Lost, on the other hand, has things like smoke monsters and time travel and yet it’s still somehow passable to my generally stringent realistic viewing habits. Perhaps it’s just the 7 year old part of my brain that still thinks time travel is possible.

Now let’s get to the most important part and really the only point to this blog post. If I was in the “Lost” scenario who would I rather bang, Kate or Juliet? Not a whole lot of people are having this conversation and that saddens me. All I’ve heard about the ladies of this show is how hot Kate is. Sure, she’s attractive, but she also has the face of a woman who has never been nice to a person her entire life and I can’t have that.

So I’ll go with the probable minority here and say Juliet is the hottest broad on Lost. This is partly because she looks like she can be nice and mostly because I found a video of her being lesbianic with Angelina Jolie in some old, probably terrible, movie. The fact is that I searched for Juliet nudes on Google and still haven’t for Kate… Now that’s true love.

Overall, even though I find the show extremely mediocre I’m still super excited about watching the 2-hour premier tomorrow night. I’m also incredibly depressed that I now have something in common with all the 40-year old Midwestern moms I work with. Our kinds aren’t supposed to mix like this! I’m afraid what society will say about our minglings. It has to be a sin somewhere in the bible and if it’s not, then it will probably be interpreted in there any moment now.

Technorati Tags: Juliet, Kate, Lost, mediocre

Getting Weird at Wal-Mart

It’s really no secret that Wal-Mart is the worst place in the world for everything besides great deals on cheap shit and making fun of people. I’ve accepted these facts and my deep hatred for the place, but I can’t help but go there at least once a week. It’s really the only place that I feel like I could take everybody in the building in a fight and am also the hottest guy. I’m pretty sure I could be the king of that goddamn place if I applied myself. My last trip to Wal-Mart, however, has made me hate the place even more, but for completely different reasons.

The trip started off as it always does by me grabbing the worst goddamn cart on the planet. I don’t know if there was something stuck on the wheel or what, but it kept making this bang and shake noise. It had to be the loudest cart ever, but luckily the sound of human disappointment was enough to drown it out.

I immediately headed straight to the electronics section, like I always do. Whenever I go to Wal-Mart I get so worked up and ready to fight people with tears in my eyes that I need some sort of geeky electronics therapy just to calm me down. I just spend hours staring at TVs, external hard drives and video games. Sure, their electronics are always of the cheap, shitty kind, but they still have the ability to sooth my soul with the promise that I may actually be able to afford them at some point in my life.

After that I decided to go about my usual shopping. That’s when I saw a pretty hot chick walking around. I think this was only the second attractive girl I’ve seen in a Wal-Mart, with the first being a cashier. I immediately started wondering how I was going to make my moves when out of nowhere I see another hot lady. I didn’t know which one to creepily follow around the store for hours trying to get jackable ass pics from. Then in the distance I saw what I thought was the hottest of the three, but what I didn’t immediately remember is that distance can sometimes be a bitch.

The closer I got to this girl the more I got disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, she was very attractive, but she had the classic bitch face. You could just tell by looking at her that she was a complete bitch to anyone she’s ever talked to. The rest of the time I was in there I kept my eyes open for the previously mentioned hot chicks, but they were gone. All I found from that point on was an extremely tall, stoic looking gay guy who looked like he could probably kill me by open hand slapping me to death.

The entire trip was disappointing, which is typical for a Wal-Mart trip, but it was for completely different reasons. I didn’t even get to see the usual things that make me laugh, like people wearing dirty sweatpants or grown adults with permanent Kool-Aid mustaches. The place is like a goddamn freak show, that’s why they always sell carnival popcorn in the back and it’s kind of pointless when the freaks don’t even show up.

Make sure to come back Monday for a new blog post about the show Lost. Will I admit that I like it or just tear it apart? Also, soon some very exciting news about a new blog I’m starting!

Technorati Tags: Disappointment, freak show, wal-mart